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Andrew Keenan-Bolger – “The History of Wrong Guys” Broadway Backwards 2014

Andrew Keenan-Bolger – “The History of Wrong Guys” Broadway Backwards 2014


Hi, Welcome to Starbucks… Tall, non fat latte, Caramel… easy drizzle. You can pay at the counter. Hi, Welcome to… Yes, I’ll have… Grande, two pump, Half-caf, non fat, Double
dry Latte, Easy foam …extra hot. Hey, you remembered? Yeah… Thanks. Wow, Brains and looks…. Oh, no. you don’t dare. Girl, girl, girl, I’m warning you! I think I have a crush. I can’t. I think I’m falling for him. Oh, no. Why not? Women have been making bad choices
Since the beginning of time. Are you gonna be another one of mine? Ohhh. Ooops sorry… forgot to give you my name…
uhhh. Charlie… Charlie? Really? Me too. Charlie, Charlie, No Charlie, Andrew.. Andrew, Charlie
Charlie, Andrew… Me ANDREW, YOU CHARLIE!!! Oh… Well, I…. better get back in line. Nice to meet you! Sure thing, Chuck! Ahhhhh!
Andrew? Maybe someday I can come closer to the end
of a shift… or near a break? Used to think you were from outer space
Who’s that bright-eyed guy in your place? You’re kind of cute
When you’re not so shy. Oh. But I’ve been here before
Have I come back for more? Another chapter in the history of wrong guys. You used to be so “eh”
A limp lackluster bore
But now you’re changing into
Something I just can’t ignore. Charlie, honestly
I’ve been hurt like this before
Is there really more to you
Than what I always thought? How can you surprise me anymore?
Oh. Oh. Oh. Sorry. In all the excitement I forgot to order Nicola’s
MOCHA… A tall skinny… Mocha. Yes, uh, right. Nicola’s Mocha? ahh, Mocha for Nicola… Yes… Mochola’s Nica….Micola’s Nocha… I mean… Nicamocha’s Nokala …!
You can put them both under Charlie… He’s got a girlfriend, you flake. Why are they only nice when they’re unavailable? Don’t want to be another star-crossed lover. We all know how that ends. I’m better off without him
We’re better off as friends. But I’ve been here before
Have I come back for more? Another chapter in the history of wrong guys. Yesterday no spark
No heart aching allure But today I’m feeling
Something I just can’t ignore. Charlie, honestly
I’ve been hurt like this before Oh. Oh. Oh
The history of wrong guys: Chapter one – he’s a bum
Two – he’s not into you Three – he’s a sleaze
Four – loves the girl next door Five – loves the boy next door
Six – don’t love you no more – makes you insecure
– makes you so unsure – is so immature
– loves his mother more – or…
… has a girlfriend named Nicola-a. Oops, sorry, my sister wants her receipt… Sister? Charlie, honestly
I’ve been hurt like this before I there really more to you
Than what I always thought But I won’t be burned anymore
Oh, oh, oh. Where are you off to? I’m going on break!

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