[Pewdiepie]: Welcome to the first ever Cringemas! [P]: We’re going to have so much fun today. Oh boy! [PJ]: Blow it up again! *all screams* [Mark]: You feeling it? [P]: Yeah! *all screams* [P]: What the fuck? [SONG PLAYING] ♪ Oh Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way ♪ ♪ Oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh ♪ ♪ Jingle bells, Jingle bells, Jingle all the way ♪ ♪ Oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh ♪ *mannequin challenge commences* [P]: Welcome back! *laughs in the background* [?]: WHAT ! [P]: JACKSEPTICEYE IS HERE! *all claps and cheers* [P]: What is your problem? [Jack]: CHARITYYY! [M]: Thats your problem? *laughs* [J]: No, no, no- charity’s good. He’s my problem. *all cheers and “oh”s* [PJ]: There we go. [PJ]: I did it! [M]: You’ve never done that?
[PJ]: Never [J]: *intensely screams* Oh! Ooh! [J]: CAN WE GET A BILLION LIKES ON THIS VIDEO?! *screams of horror and disgust* [M]: *starts singing* Da- da-da. [M]: I’m doing an Irish jig! [PJ]: That was worth 25 dollars. [M]: Do I get a coal for that? [P]: I’ll donate $25 dollars to see that–never see that again. [E]: I feel a bit sick. [J]: That was good. [J]: *imitating Pewds* How’s it going bros? This is Pewdiepie- All I do is copy Filthy Frank. [P]: NO! [J]: CAN WE HIT 5 MILLION LIKES ON THIS VIDEO? [P]: ♪ Do you wanna build a snowman? ♪ *everyone saying yes* [P]: ♪ C’mon, let’s go and play. ♪ [P]: One person wraps the other one. Alright. [P]: Three, two, one– GO!!! [E]: No! It’s broken, it’s broken. *laughs* [P]: Jack is finally treated like the s**t he is. [P]: They only have the gloves left! *Random Screaming* [M]: YAY! [P]: That is terrifying [J]: Oh, you lost yer hat! [P]: Ooh! Disqualified! *All yelling* [P]: It’s cooking time. [P]: CRINGEMAS DINNER COOKING COMPETITION! *All woah’s* [P]: What do you guys gonna cook for us today? [PJ]: A-uh-a wreath of weenies. [M]: Its a weenie-woo! [P]: Alright, next–what else are you going to make? [PJ]: Christmas candle salad. [P]: That is.. penises.. [P]: Moving onto, um- a banana. [P]: What do we got? [J]: Dude, we’re going to make a turkey cake! [P]: That’s very clever. That’s very nice I can’t wait to bite my teeth into that. [J]: Yeah [P]: *Chomp Noise* [P]: Um, I will now try it. [M]: Please, please. [E]: He took out the almonds- He’s just doing the banana. [PJ]: How was that? [M]: *British accent* Yes. [PJ]: Yes? (offscreen) Aughghgdeehh [J]: Don’t do it man. [P]: *burps* [PJ]: Alright. *laughs* M: *fancy accent* Belching is considered a sign of respect. [PJ]: Thank you very much! [M]: I have provided you with spoons… in the form of these peppers. [P]: WOW! [M]: Take a s-pepper *talking over one another* [M]: Only BARBARIANS would make you eat with a mixing spoon. [P]: Pardon me, I may not be an expert. So, how would you recommend?– [M]: Oh, allow me to carve the turkey for you. [P]: Yeah- Why, yes *please.* [M]: Ooh, yes! [P]: Mmmm. *laughing* [E]: Delectable. [M]: Delectable! [P]: What are- While we wait for Mark to cut that– [M]: No, no! I’m done. I’m done. [P]: Okay, I was trying to help in donations, but okay… [M]: No, no, no… Those can wait. [PJ]: *in fancy accent* Please sample the turkey. [E]: Did you put any sweets in the back end? [M]: Yes, I did- If you see inside, they’re all sweets. [P]: What is this? [J]: We decided to, um, lighten up for you! We got some powdered sugar for you, just like you asked. [P]: That’s a lot of salt. [E]: It’s gonna be horrid. [P]: Don’t like that one. [J]: Well, yeah- They told us to put mayonnaise on it. [E]: We- We did a few- (?) [J?]: Ho- Oh, don’t get sick. Don’t get sick- Ew. [PJ]: Felix, did I hear you currently saying your mouth was a little dry? Please allow me to. My finest bottle of water from the Alps. [P]: Ohhh! [M]: I squeezed it out of ice myself. [PJ]: To wash away this awful, foul taste. [P]: I mean there’s not even a competition. [P]: The winners are– [P]: What’s your name again?! [M]: PJplier! [P]: PJIPLIER EVERYONE! (new ship name, i guess?) [PJ]: Thanks. [P]: Whoo! *awkward applause* [P]: Amazing! Y’know- just-just.. You just.. [P]: This… is garbage. (how rude) [P]: 3.. [P]: 2.. [P]: 1. [P]: IT’S WRAPPING TIME! [P]: One handed wrapping! *claps* [P]: One handed wrapping, everybody! [P]: Meanwhile, me and Edgar… [M]: Just.. hold it tight. [P]: Look at what Emma Blackery’s got! [P]: That is amazing! [E]: Thanks so much! 🙂 [E]: This is actually better than my normal wrapping! [P]: I take it back. [P]: I think you need to focus. I’m sorry for distracting you. [P]: That’s clearly not good enough. [M]: So, you are a fair and impartial judge. [M]: Who is also extremely handsome might I add. [P]: Oooh. [E]: Very pretty. [P]: It looks like the (?) are doing an excellent job over here! ( i couldn’t hear it properly) [E]: Probably the best job of all time. [M]: Where’s the tape… [P]: Well, well- y’know what they say- [P]: A handsome man and great judge. [J]: I’m drooling everywhere. [P]: Okay, I will be judging on style… [J]: Irishness. [P]: Irishne… *laughs* [J]: And floofy hair. [P]: THE (?)’s WIN! (still can’t hear it sorry) *all cheers* [P]: CRINGEMAS PICTIONARY TIME! [P]: I don’t know why I did it like that. [M]: I’m very good at pictionary. [J]: Santa Claus coming out a pipe. [J]: Santa Claus strip teasing. [J]: NAKED SANTA. [J]: Sad belly Santa. [PJ]: Wait- you, uh- wait- you said something a minute ago that sounded like it. [J]: Strip teasing Santa. [J]: Pole dancing Santa. [PJ]: Yes! Pole dancing Santa. *Jacks awesome Irish dance moves* [P]: Tur- turn over for me. *Pewds screams in pain* [P]: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! (FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT) [J]: This isn’t really in tha spirit of Cringemas or charity. (True) *Random Pewds screaming* [J]: That’s my Irish dance. (snazzy music) [P]: I am the one the one the one that. [P]: OH, I GOT THE BIGGEST ONES. [J]: Wax a Christmas tree into part of your body. [PJ]: Excuse- What? [Everyone]: What? [J]: This is the forfeit. [J]: “Wax a Christmas tree into part of your body.” [P]: This is gonna be painful. [J]: It’s not gonna be *as* painful. [J]: I’ve waxed my legs twice by now. *okay jack* lol gayyyyyyyy [P]: Well.. Have Pewdiepie ever done it? [P]: Okay, here we go. This is gonna hurt. I’m sorry by the way. [P]: I don’t wanna hurt you. [J]: Just do it. [J]: OHMYGOD OHHHH NOOO!. [E]: I told you this wasn’t gonna happen. [P]: TWO MORE. [P]: THREE MORE. [J]: JESUS CHRIST, DUDE. [P]: ONE MORE. [E]: Oh, no! Why did you do that?! [PJ]: What? It looks good. [P]: What happened? [J]: I’m out of here guys. [J]: See ya later. [P]: See ya next time. [P]: Ready? ThreeTwoOne [P]: *manly cry* [P]: Yeah! [J]: “Allow the group to wrap you up like a present.” [J]: For example- Paper and bow. [J]: You must keep as much of the wrapping on as possible until the next cracker. [P]: I hate my life. [J]: We hate you too. [J]: *singing* We wish you a merry Christmas- *everyone joins in* [All]: WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS- [All]: WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS- [All]: AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR- [PJ]: If I got that on Christmas Day, [PJ]: I would be very disappointed. *lol not the bros* [P]: Three, two, one- Crack it up! [P]: Whoo! Crack it up. [M]: Uh oh. Uh oh. [PJ]: “Silent Disco Night.” [P]: What does that mean? [PJ]: It means the following…. [PJ]: We want you to perform a one-minute interpretive dance, expressing the meaning of Christmas. [P]: One minute. [PJ]: No music. Costume required. [P]: Oh! [PJ]: Do we have a costume? [P]: We have a costume, everyone! *all cheering* [M]: … batteries? (Nope) [PJ]: Batteries included. [M]: Oh, I know what kind of costume this is. [PJ]: Can you take this? [P]: Yes. [PJ]: Thank you. [P]: *in weird voice* Hi, everybody. [P]: *continuing* Make sure you donate, everybodyyyy (?) This has been AMAZING! YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST. Thank you guys! CRINGEMAS! CRINGEMAS 2016. [P]: LETS NEVER DO THIS AGAIN… NEVER. And we’re out!