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SCP-3301 The SCP Foundation Board Game reading | Safe Class | Doctor Wondertainment SCP

SCP-3301 The SCP Foundation Board Game reading | Safe Class | Doctor Wondertainment SCP

SCP-3301 “The Foundation” including test logs Object class: safe level 2/3301 classified Item#: SCP-3301 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3301 is
to be stored within a standard small containment locker at Site-19 when not being used for
testing. Testing is only to be authorized by the SCP-3301 head researcher, currently
Dr. Benjamin Cole. Testing may only be carried out at the Site-19 E Wing Storage Warehouse,
which has been renovated specifically for this purpose. It is a requirement that all staff members
assigned to SCP-3301 must be versed in the rules and protocols of the game. As such,
a detailed explanation is available in Addendum 3301.2. SCP-3301 is a Class IX information security
hazard, and its full repercussions are being studied by the Foundation Information Security
Department. Updated Containment Procedures: Per the special
memorandum detailed in Addendum 3301.4, testing of SCP-3301 has been made available to all
qualified personnel, and is available as an approved extracurricular activity in the Foundation
Employee Benefit Program. Personnel are required to submit detailed
testing logs for each 3301 Activation Period. Full log is available here. Description: SCP-3301 is an ornate, silver
box with a latch and silver key. Inscribed on the lip of the box is the following: THE FOUNDATION A GAME BY CRYOGEN STUDIOS
A DIVISION OF DR. WONDERTAINMENT Contained within the box is a board game with
the aforementioned title, as well as game pieces and other miscellaneous game parts.
The game comes with a small instruction manual detailing a fairly simple resource management
board game. However, within the box is a small gold key in a velvet lined drawer, which fits
within the lock on the front of the silver box. Inserting the key and turning it while
the game box is closed will cause a sliding hatch to open on the top of the box, revealing
a flat, purple button inscribed with a white letter “W”. Pressing this button, labeled within the manual
as the “WonderButton”, activates the primary anomalous features of SCP-3301, and begins
a game of “THE FOUNDATION”. The following information pertains to the anomalous version
of the game. The baseline properties of SCP-3301 are as
follows: Opening the box will reveal a large game board
of differing size, shape, and design. Accompanying this game board will be 8 place
markers of differing size, shape, and design. Each game board, regardless of shape, features
a slot in the middle of the board where a smaller silver box is placed. This box is
a smaller version of the larger game box, and bears the inscription “DRAW ONE” on its
lid. If the game is not in session, or if it is opened by a player out of turn, it appears
empty. If opened by a player on their turn, it will produce between one and three random
game cards, which have differing utility within the game.
For full description of setup, rules, and gameplay, see Addendum 3301.2. Addendum 3301.1: Discovery SCP-3301 was discovered on the desk of Director
Tilda Moose at Site-19 on July 3rd, 2017. Attached to the exterior of SCP-3301 was a
letter in a silver envelope bearing the word “Foundation”. The contained letter reads as
follows: Dear SCP Foundation, Sentient creatures so often seek purpose within
their own lives, whether it be mundane or extraordinary. There are some who would dedicate
their lives to healing the sick, or feeding the hungry. Others would try to resurrect
their broken gods, or sail through the stars on the arms of a cosmic starfish. Some would
rid the world of the unnatural, or foster it in the halls of their Library, and some
are just in it for the memes†. You seek to protect the world from the anomalous,
categorize and classify the strange and unique, and let humanity bask in the light. We seek
to make people smile, and give people a reason to be happy, if only for a short time. Despite
our differences, we cannot help but respect your motives. You’ve no doubt saved us a dozen
times over, so we want to return the favor. We want to make you smile! Contained within this box is our greatest
toy yet. There are no jokes here, no gaffs or plotting. Everything we have at our disposal,
every scrap of information and wisp of arcana is contained within this game. We made it
because, at the end of the day, we feel like you have the most interesting story to tell.
We sincerely hope you enjoy it! Yours most splendidly, Dr. Wondertainment P.S. We are very excited about this product,
and believe it is nearly ready for production! But it wouldn’t be acceptable to ship a product
without playtesting it. So this version we’re sending to you, our sole playtester, in the
hopes that you’ll be able to give us feedback on how we can make our game better! If at
any point you stop playing for more than a few days, we’ll know that you’re done testing
it and we’ll go ahead and put it on the shelves! If you don’t think it’s ready for the shelves,
then just keep on testing it 😉 P.P.S. Please submit all playtesting suggestions
to: 111 Wondertainment Way
Wondertainmentville, Wondertainmentland 10101 † Yes, children, we see you there. We hope
you’re having fun too. Addendum 3301.2: Gameplay The following is information pertaining to
the proper gameplay of SCP-3301. In order to maintain containment of the artifact, monthly
testing of SCP-3301 is required. Personnel assigned to SCP-3301 are required to maintain
a thorough knowledge of the rules and regulations of the game. Introduction The following is an introduction copied directly
out of “THE FOUNDATION” gameplay handbook. The handbook is a leather-bound pamphlet with
embossed silver print displaying the name of the game, the production studio, and the
A board game only for the strong willed and mighty of heart. But beware! For danger lurks
around every corner, and foul things are creeping in the night. Do you have what it takes to
stand betwixt humanity and the darkness? Or will you too be lost to the chaos eternal?
Only time will tell! Become Mr. Collector, or maybe Mr. Containment! The choice is yours! Setup SCP-3301 is played between 2 to 8 teams of
two players. Each primary player chooses a secondary player, to act as their representative
on the game board. The primary players are all selected when each set of players places
their game pieces1 on the board. The board contained within SCP-3301 varies
depending on which version of the “game” is being played, and is random. Gameplay is
similar between each board, though setting is different (i.e. The Land of the Unclean,
Echoes of the Mariana, Bigfoot’s Jungle, The Cosmic Starfish, etc.), and different
hostile entities appear as opponents on different boards. Testing has revealed at least twenty-three
different game boards, though there are possibly more. Once the game board is unfolded, and the silver
card box placed in the middle of the board in the appropriate space, the surrounding
area (a space roughly 300m in diameter) will undergo dramatic anomalous spatial changes.
Observers will see the space appear to fall away, as if the viewpoint of observers outside
of the area of effect has become a bird’s eye view of a space much larger than the affected
area. This observed space will mimic the current game board, only on a much larger scale and
typically built into an arena setting. Within the affected space, the primary players
will find themselves seated around a flat, crystalline surface suspended above the aforementioned
game board arena, while their game piece representatives will be at the starting positions on the game
board below. The start of the game is typically accompanied by music and fireworks, and a
voice announcing the beginning of a new game. Once the game has begun, nothing can be passed
through the spatial distortion surrounding the game arena. Secondary players who are
killed or die in-game will appear outside of the distortion shortly after their death,
unharmed. Primary players will remain within the anomaly for the duration of the game. Gameplay After the introduction has finished, the game
begins. Each player starts the game by drawing seven cards from the silver box in the middle
of the board, and end each turn by drawing one. If a player has more than ten cards in
their hand at the end of a turn, they must discard one by returning it to the silver
box. There are several types of cards that can appear in the box, and each affects the
game in different ways: Green Cards – are cards that influence the
environment of the board. These can range from obstacles that can be used against other
players, to introducing other environments and the hostile entities within them to the
board, to traps and mazes, etc. Blue Cards – are companion cards. Companion
cards “equip” a companion to the game piece player, who will follow the player until
the card’s time limit expires, the companion is killed, or the player is killed. Companions
can perform different tasks and have different abilities to assist their player, or hinder
other players. Red Cards – are weapon, equipment, or ability
cards. These cards allow the player on the board to perform different abilities, or have
access to different weapons and equipment. Each card lists the ability or weapon’s
stats, strengths, weaknesses, limitations, etc. These cards last as long as the player
is alive, or until some requirement of the card or another card are met (for example,
running a Red Card through the card titled “Upgrade”2 will result in the Red Card disappearing,
and another card being issued to the player. Additionally, if an equipment card is utilized
(such as a trap, or reality anchor, etc.) the card is expended after the equipment is
utilized. Orange Cards – are hostile or otherwise uncontained
anomalies.3 They appear randomly across the board, and players often do not know they
are nearby until they are within range of them, upon which the board will produce a
card on that spot. Entities that appear as Orange Cards can be destroyed or contained,
depending on the player’s equipment and chosen endgame.
Yellow Cards – are cards that influence the way that the earnings of the game are distributed.
At the beginning of each game, a incorporeal numerical counter appears above the game board,
and another above each player. The counter starts at different values depending on the
difficulty setting (for example, $10,000USD at normal difficulty), and yellow cards distribute
this money across the players as the game progresses. Players who die have their “earnings”
moved back into the central counter to be redistributed. Yellow cards, and the money
value shown in the counters, have no impact on the actual win conditions of the game,
but at the end of each game the players who won will have their sum, in the form of a
gold bar of equal value engraved with the Wondertainment logo, distributed to them through
the silver box in the center of the board. White Cards – are fortune cards. White Cards,
and their counterpart Black Cards, are randomly distributed as an additional card to players
at the beginning of their turn. White and Black cards must be played as soon as they
are drawn, and while typically only affecting the player who drew them, can potentially
affect other nearby players or the entire board, if applicable.4 White Cards provide
a random instance of “good fortune”, as described by the card.
Black Cards – are misfortune cards. Black Cards are more rare than White Cards, but
their effect on the game is typically more severe. Black Cards, like their White Card
counterparts, must be used as soon as they are drawn, and are expended after their use.
Purple Cards – are Wondertainment cards. These are very rare,5 and have random effects on
the outcome of the game. Typically, Purple cards insert a random Wondertainment product
into the game, typically with exaggerated properties or abilities.6
For examples of game cards used in testing, see Addendum 3301.3. On the outside of the game board is a slider
pointing to different difficulty settings. This slider can be moved before the game has
begun, but retracts into the board afterwards. The difficulty settings are as follows: Neutralized Mode: All entities and artifacts
are replaced with plush versions of themselves. No entity does any damage to anything else.
Lullaby music plays across the board. The game mode lacks a win condition, and just
ends after all of the players have fallen asleep.
Thaumiel Mode: Entities have reduced damage and players are not “killed”, only “knocked
out”. Certain win conditions are removed. Blood and gore are no longer visible, and
nudity is no longer possible, as all players have an unremovable skintight bodysuit beneath
their lowest layer of clothes. Safe Mode: The baseline game setting.
Euclid Mode: Entities do more damage, are more resistant to attack, and have more health.
Players become unable to view the movements and plays of other players.
Keter Mode: Same as Euclid Mode, only entities are faster as well.
Maksur Mode: Same as Keter Mode, only players start with a gunshot wound to a random part
of their body. Apollyon Mode: Two random, hostile supreme
divine beings appear on the map after the fourth turn. Players may start the game blind.
The game is played in a team vs. team format, where each two person team competes against
every other two person team. Every player begins at their “containment facility”,
a starting point and base of operations on their side of the board. Within the facility,
each player has several spaces for “equipment”, which they can swap out at the beginning of
their turn with cards from their hand, in order to equip different items to their “piece”.
Typically, there are two “weapon” spaces, three “equipment” spaces, two “ability”
spaces, and one “companion” space. Playing any card into that space “equips” their
piece with the item, ability, or companion. If an item, ability, or companion is lost,
the physical card will disappear as if made of smoke. Additionally, some cards will increase
the overall number of equipment slots (notably the card “Big Bag o’ Taters” will increase
the number of equipment and weapon slots from 2 / 3 to 4 / 5). At the beginning of each turn, the primary
player will select one card, and make equipment additions or subtractions if necessary.7 Afterwards,
the player will roll two six-sided dice. The number that is rolled corresponds with a radius
within which the secondary player may move, or take an action. If the secondary player
has a ranged ability or weapon, they may move to the edge of their movement radius and use
it, so long as the target is within range. From this point on, the game proceeds in any
number of variations. Based on the cards drawn by the primary players, and the actions taken
by the secondary players, any number of outcomes are possible, depending on which victory condition
the players choose to seek. Victory Conditions There are several victory conditions that
players may choose to seek during the course of the game. The following describes conditions
needed to reach each end game: MR. FINDER: Buried on each game board is a
hidden anomalous item, denoted by a golden W mark on it. This item is typically protected
by anomalous entities, a hazardous location, or a dangerous meme or powerful antimeme.
Individuals who search for clues, discover the location of the item, survive its protections
and safely return it to their containment facility will become MR. FINDER, and win the
game. MR. COLLECTOR: This victory condition only
becomes available if a Purple Card is drawn. If any player is able to contain the Wondertainment
product and return it to their containment facility, they will become MR. COLLECTOR,
and win the game. MR. GENOCIDE: Any player that directly kills
every other player in the game will become MR. GENOCIDE, and win the game. This victory
condition becomes unobtainable if any players are killed by means other than by the hand
of anyone seeking the MR. GENOCIDE8 victory condition.
MR. ESCHATOLOGY: Any player who is able to summon three “supreme divine beings” will
become MR. ESCHATOLOGY, and will win the game. Divine beings (i.e. Mr. God, A Very Angry
Star, The Boy in the Pit, The Gate Guardian) do not fulfill the requirements of the MR.
ESCHATOLOGY win condition; they must be “supreme” (i.e. DEER, The Starfish, A Clockwork God,
The Serpent, The Eel, Mary Nakayama, etc.). MR. COALITION: If a player is somehow able
to destroy every anomalous artifact or entity, they become MR. COALITION and win the game.
To become MR. COALITION, the winner does not actually have to destroy every single anomalous
artifact or entity, they must only have destroyed the majority of the artifacts or entities,
and all artifacts and entities must be destroyed.9 MR. CONTAINMENT: Any player who contains more
than half of the anomalies on the board (as denoted by their Orange Cards) and returns
them to their containment facility becomes MR. CONTAINMENT, and wins the game.
MR. FOUNDATION: Any player who contains every entity and artifact, as well as every other
player, becomes MR. FOUNDATION, and wins the game. Individuals winning under the condition
of MR. FOUNDATION also receive $50,000USD upon completion of the game. Can only be completed
on Safe Mode difficulty or higher. MR. SURVIVOR: If a player is the last player
standing, and has not met any other win conditions, that player becomes MR. SURVIVOR, and wins
the game. Additionally, the game manual claims that
there are many other secret victory conditions to go alongside those listed above. The existence
of these secret conditions means that some games may end suddenly and without warning,
when a player meets an unexpected condition. Rules The structure of THE FOUNDATION allows for
a variety of gameplay styles and approaches to the different goals of the game. In order
to seemingly aid this effort, there are very few enumerated rules to the game. The following
are the rules of the game, exactly as described in the manual: No hits below the belt.
Targeting will result in a 15 yard penalty and a loss of downs.
Drink your Ovaltine. Suspend your disbelief a little bit.
This isn’t a game for children, so kids who play it are really cool.
Leave your loyalties at the door. Buy Wondertainment products. Addendum 3301.3: Game Cards The following are examples of cards used within
SCP-3301. While not all cards appear to carry relevant information, many appear to be references
to anomalies within Foundation containment, or Foundation personnel. As previously mentioned
in this document, the full scale of this breach of information security is part of an ongoing
investigation. Several statistics are utilized within the
card system, each corresponding to a certain attribute that players have. The statistics
are listed below: ATK: Attack power. A value that determines
the amount of damage a player can do to another player or an entity. Since entities cannot
be contained until their health has reached 0, this is arguably the most important statistic.
All players start with 6 ATK. DEF: Defense. A value that influences the
amount of damage a player takes after being attacked. All players start with 6 DEF.
HP: Hit Points. A value that determines how much damage a player can sustain before dying.
Can be replaced with cards that increase health, such as medicines or vampiric cards. All players
start with 10 HP. SPD: Speed. A value that determines which
entity in an encounter can attack or defend first, and how often they can do so. All players
start with 8 SPD. ACC: Accuracy. A value that determines how
likely a given attack is to striking a target. All players start with 8 ACC.
The game manual mentions other non-enumerated statistics that players can add to or subtract
from, such as Smooth Talking, Memetic Resistance, Ethics, etc. While there are cards that may
affect these stats, the only known way to gauge their level is by asking an entity with
limited or full omniscience, such as A Librarian. Green Cards Card Title: Darkness Between Dimensions Subtitle: A Red Reality Type: Land Description: Spawns a machine that, after
a random amount of time, will transport anything nearby into the Darkness Between Dimensions.
Players in the Darkness Between Dimensions can be saved by divine grace, or with the
item “Scranton’s Grappling Hook”. After a random amount of time, players will be returned
to the board. They will come back… squishier. Card Title: Babel’s Spire Subtitle: The Friendly Union of Man and Beast Type: Structure Description: Spawns the Babel Spire on a square
of your choosing within line of sight. Nearby animals join your side, and gain +2 attack.
Those who do not are sacrificed to Babel. Aya aya aya blood blood blood. Card Title: Island Turtle Subtitle: Lazy Archipelago Type: Land Description: If you are at sea, this card
spawns an Island Turtle to ferry you around. If you’re not, the turtle spawns anyway,
and dies from dehydration. Card Title: City of the Gods Subtitle: Coming Soon To Your Home Town! Type: Structure Description: Spawns a haunted city on a square
of your choosing within line of sight. Opponents entering City of the Gods have a high chance
of being attacked by a +15 ATK / +12 DEF angry deity. Card Title: A Funny Little Statue Subtitle: ctrl+c ctrl+v Type: Trap Description: If indoors, creates an infinite
maze that opponents can only exit with assistance from outside forces. If outdoors, the effect
isn’t noticeable, but trust us when we say it’s really bad. Card Title: A Swedish Furniture Store Subtitle: Perfectly Normal Type: Trap Description: Spawns a friendly and welcoming
department store. Players unfortunate enough to be inside the store when it opens will
have to fight their way out, if they can get out at all. Bring your own instructions. blue cards Card Title: Director Tilda Moose Subtitle: Not sure how they got here. Type: Companion Description: Summons SCP Site-19 Director
Moose to act as your companion. Is a literal moose. When riding Director Moose, gain +7
DEF against memes and cognitive hazards. Stats: 5 ATK / 8 DEF / 9 HP Card Title: A Sea Slug Subtitle: A Proper Gentleman Type: Companion Description: Spawns A Sea Slug to act as your
companion. Wields an anti-material rifle. Talks a lot. Can summon a ghostly butler to
do your bidding (with limitations!), but has a 10 round cool-down. Stats: 13 ATK / 2 DEF / 4 HP Card Title: A Librarian Subtitle: A Wanderer Type: Companion Description: Summons a Librarian to act as
your companion. Has innate knowledge about a vast array of creatures and realms. Might
be able to read your opponent’s hands, who knows. If attacked, they’ll flee back to
their Library. Typical. Stats: 3 ATK / 3 DEF / 6 HP Card Title: A Very Loud Bird Subtitle: oh god make it stop Type: Companion Description: Summons some sort of awful eldritch
abomination stuffed into the body of a small bird to act as your companion. Despicably
loud. Can stun foes and entities, and commune with fellow anomalies. Unless otherwise protected,
players who spend too much time in the presence of A Very Loud Bird will slowly lose their
minds. Stats: 8 ATK / 4 DEF / 4 HP Card Title: Surf Rock Band Subtitle: Cruising The Starry Skies Type: Companion Description: Summons a ghostly Surf Rock Band
to act as your companion. Provides your journey with cool evening tunes and casts a calming
influence on everything you encounter. May also be able to commune with the Starfish.
May also just smoke a lot of weed. Stats: 5 ATK / 5 DEF / 6 HP red cards Card Title: Spear of the Nonbeliever Subtitle: What’s a King to a God? Type: Weapon, Ranged Description: A massive harpoon gun designed
to make mortals of gods. Can only be used on Cosmic, Divine, or Supreme Divine beings. Stats: +20 ATK vs Gods / -5 SPD / -1 DEF Card Title: Buster Sword Subtitle: A BFS Type: Weapon, Melee Description: A big sword. Requires two hands
to hold. Can cleft a man in twain with a single swing. Reduces stealth. Increases upper arm
gains. Stats: +8 ATK / -3 SPD Card Title: K-Mart Katana Subtitle: Only The Finest Chinesium Type: Weapon, Melee Description: A cheap sword. Low damage, low
attack speed. The first choice of suburban ninjas everywhere. Minus points to attack
if wearing a fedora. Stats: -5 ATK / -5 SPD / Fedora Bonus -1 ATK Card Title: Temporal Tinkering Subtitle: For When You Need A Few More Seconds Type: Ability, Temporal Description: Allows the user to wield the
great and terrible cosmic power of time, in very small increments. Users may return up
to 10 seconds into the past. Expires after three uses. Paradoxes not included. Card Title: A Gun That Shoots People Subtitle: “Shoots” “People” Type: Weapon, Ranged Description: A remarkably powerful .50BMG.
Definitely not something you want to use yourself. Give it as a gift to an enemy, or anyone else
you’d like to see spend the last few seconds of their life as a tiny, remarkably dense,
screaming projectile. Expires after use. Stats: +19 ATK / +5 ACC Card Title: Intro to Memetics Subtitle: The Beginner’s Course Type: Ability, Memetic Description: Provides the user with innate
knowledge of very simple anomalous memes. If used correctly, can be really annoying.
If used incorrectly, can be even more annoying. Card Title: Dr. Mann’s Six-Shooter Subtitle: Ole Reliable Type: Weapon, Ranged Description: A revolver used by infamous Foundation
doctor Everett Mann. Bonus to accuracy. Bonus to damage vs. undead. Bonus to lunacy. Stats: +10 ATK / +3 ACC Card Title: Intro to Unethical Business Practices,
5th Edition Subtitle: A MC&D Educational Product Type: Ability, Memetic Description: Anyone holding this book receives
a +3 bonus to smooth-talking, negotiations, salesmanship, and swindling. Side effects
include greasy combed-back hair and cheap suits. Card Title: The Infinity Gun11 Subtitle: An Abomination Type: Weapon, Ranged Description: A gun made of a god bound by
the shredded souls of nine innocents. Instantly annihilates one being or artifact anywhere
on the board, so long as the user is able to describe it. Expires after use. Stats: +∞ ATK / -50 Morality orange cards Card Title: DEER Subtitle: God From The Stars Type: Anomaly, Unknown, Supreme Divine Description: An ancient and mysterious creature
that fell from the stars and broke the masquerade. Incredibly powerful. Stats: 34 ATK / 28 DEF / 40 HP Card Title: Technicolor Dream Goat Subtitle: Goat With All The Colors Of The
Wind Type: Anomaly, Sentient, Animal Description: A multicolor, ethereal goat.
Said to fill the dreams of its victims with incessant bleating. Impervious to physical
attacks. Stats: 2 ATK / 3 DEF / 4 HP Card Title: Mr. God Subtitle: Has A Himself Complex Type: Anomaly, Sentient, Divine Description: An old man with a penchant for
the dramatic. Hasn’t worn anything other than sandals for a thousand years. Needs to
get off his high horse. Stats: 15 ATK / 8 DEF / 23 HP Card Title: A Bundle Of Golems Subtitle: The World’s Cutest Chemicals Type: Anomaly, Sentient, Construct Description: Little statue people made of
elements. Tend to engage in shenanigans. Legend has it they unite once a year to form a powerful
Anart Mecha, but this is unconfirmed. Stats: 5 ATK / 8 DEF / 5 HP Card Title: A Very Angry Star Subtitle: I Mean, Really Very Angry Type: Anomaly, Sentient, Divine Description: A furious ball of plasma and
gas with a specific hatred for Planet Earth. The reason for its rage is uncertain, though
it is known that Alto Clef owes it $23.50. Stats: 24 ATK / 18 DEF / 20 HP Card Title: Corrosion Man Subtitle: The Snatcher Type: Anomaly, Sentient, Humanoid Description: A ghastly former soldier turned
into a living nightmare. Steals children for probably horrible reasons. Lives in an attic
above the Darkness Between Dimensions. Stats: 9 ATK / 9 DEF / 9 HP Card Title: L O N G C O R G Subtitle: Stretch Doggo Type: Anomaly, Sentient, Animal Description: An immensely long corgi. Used
for public transportation. A very good boy. Stats: 3 ATK / 5 DEF / 18 HP Card Title: Wretched Bovine Heart Subtitle: Beating In The Darkness Type: Anomaly, Sentient, Biological Description: A demon possessed by speed incarnate.
Horrifying and unrelenting. All entities nearby lose -2 to DEF against psychological threats. Stats: 17 ATK / 5 DEF / 6 HP Card Title: The Serpent Subtitle: The Source of Knowledge Type: Anomaly, Sentient, Supreme Divine Description: Tricked Adam El Asem into eating
from the Tree of Knowledge, freeing itself from its prison. Legends say the Wanderer’s
Library is built on its back. Thinks it knows everything. Probably does. Stats: 10 ATK / 35 DEF / 45 HP Card Title: SCP-173 In A Sombrero Subtitle: Ay Caramba Type: Anomaly, Construct Description: A statue in a sombrero. Gave
up a life of snapping necks to pursue its dream of dancing. Nearby entities may be overcome
by the urge to dance. Stats: 4 ATK / 9 DEF / 8 HP yellow cards Card Title: A Little Insurgency Description: Your friends in the Insurgency
carry out a coup on one of your rivals. To the victor goes the spoils! I’m sure they
won’t take it personally. Effect: Receive all of the earnings of a random
player. Card Title: Research Grant Description: You are offered a grant for your
contributions to academia. Congratulations! Now hurry up and spend it before the Foundation
scoops you up. Effect: Receive $300. Card Title: Lost Aztec Gold Description: You discover a bounty of gold
from a ruined civilization! Enjoy your blood money! Effect: Receive $300. Card Title: Business Deal Description: You negotiate a deal between
The Factory and Dr. Wondertainment, and earn big dividends for your work! Effect: Receive $400. Card Title: Mr. Money’s Jackpot Extravaganza Description: Mr. Money is about to make you
Mr. Wealthy! Effect: Receive $5000. white cards Card Title: Elixir Description: You get ahold of the Overseer’s
Secret Stuff. You are healed! Effect: When used, completely heals the player
of all ailments. Card Title: Safe Passageway Description: In a stroke of good luck, you
discover a road untouched by danger! Effect: Allows a player to bypass a dangerous
environmental hazard unharmed. Card Title: Promotion Description: Your efforts do not go unnoticed!
You are promoted to Senior Junior Researcher! Effect: Player gains a permanent +2 to ATK
and +3 to DEF. Card Title: Brushed By The Starfish Description: The Cosmic Starfish brushes against
you with one of its Five arms. You are empowered! Effect: Player receives +10 ATK / +10 DEF
/ +8 SPD / +10 HP for three turns. Card Title: Angel of Mercy Description: You are resurrected! Effect: If a player is killed while holding
this card, the player is instantly returned to half health. black cards Card Title: Fuck This One Guy Specifically Description: Someone has a grudge! The Sun
God Nergal punches you! Ouch! Effect: The player is punched by a Supreme
Divine being, and dies. Card Title: Containment Breach Description: Oh no! All of your contained
anomalies are loose! What a disastrous circumstance! Effect: Any contained anomalies return to
the gameboard. Card Title: Friend or Foe Description: Your companion betrays you, seeking
glory only for themselves! Effect: Any companions become hostile to the
player. Card Title: Consolidation12 Description: A deal is signed. The Foundation
dissolves! Only the Coalition remains! Effect: Removes the MR. CONTAINMENT and MR.
FOUNDATION win conditions. Card Title: ████ (••/•••••/••/•) Description: Bad luck, hombre. Effect: Player is killed. purple cards Card Title: Mr. Moon Subtitle: Waxing and Waning Type: Wondertainment Description: The great and terrible Mr. Moon!
Disrupts the tides and summons werewolves across the map! Not made of cheese! Maybe
made of cheese! Stats: 19 ATK / 20 DEF / 20 HP Addendum 3301.4: Memorandum Regarding SCP-3301 From:: Dr. Tilda Moose, Director, Site-19
To: 3301 Research Team CC: Ethics Committee Liaison, Director Council
Liaison, Classification Committee Liaison Last night, one week since the last playthrough
of SCP-3301, a small shipment of these games were discovered on a truck destined for a
toy store in Wisconsin. We began a game immediately after discovering these games, and received
a note through our game board thanking us for our continued playtesting. The anomalous
games were promptly removed before they could be viewed by a larger audience, but this was
still too close of a call. Truthfully, we don’t know how they’re getting
all of this information. INFOSEC teams have advised me that these were likely warning
shots, something innocuous that could be easily detected and quickly removed, but a notice
that additional measures may be taken if we don’t comply. After consulting with our security teams,
and members of the Site Director Council, we’ve decided to do just that. In a break
from our typical mantra, access restrictions to SCP-3301 have been reduced considerably,
and the object has been reclassified as Safe. So far as we can tell, this is a legitimate
show of good faith, with no malicious intent. For some reason, Dr. Wondertainment has provided
us with something fun, and wants us to play it. In this case, we’ll do just that. Our protocol for this object does not reflect
a change in our policy regarding using anomalous objects for recreational purposes. Nor does
it reflect a change in our relationship with the group of interest known as Dr. Wondertainment.
For all intents and purposes, this new protocol is the containment procedure for this object,
and this object only. -Moose Addendum 3301.5: SCP-3301 Testing and Gameplay
Logs In keeping with proper Foundation testing
protocols, all instances of SCP-3301’s active state are to be recorded for analysis and
archival. The following is an example of proper test log format, and should be used in all
future instances of test logging. SCP-3301 Test and Gameplay Log: Log ID: 3301|001 Participants: Dr. Andrew Richards and Agent
Anna Lang, Dr. Michael St. Clair and Dr. Isaac Baker, Dr. Nicholas Quinn and Dr. Django Bridge,
Agent Julian Calloway and Agent Jasper Jenkins Game Board: The Garden of Eden Winner: Dr. Nicholas Quinn and Dr. Django
Bridge Victory Condition: MR. ESCHATOLOGY Runtime: 3h 14m 58s Payout: $1,750 Game Summary: Dr. Richards got out to an early
start when Agent Lang managed to contain two entities within the first five turns, having
drawn the card “Mr. Containment’s Vac-n-Suck” on the first turn. However, the tides began
to turn when Dr. Bridge, on the direction of Dr. Quinn, opened a secret treasure chest
in a cave and found the card “Sacrifice”, a red card that he then used to summon “Planet
of Ten Thousand Fingers”, a supreme divine orange card. While Dr. St. Clair and Agent Calloway’s
teams were fending off attacks from the first supreme divine being, Dr. Quinn drew the red
card “Error in the Database, which summoned the supreme divine being “Mary Nakayama”
on the 16th turn. This being immediately dispatched Agent Calloway’s team, which was already
weakened by the “Planet of Ten Thousand Fingers”. However, on the 29th turn, Dr. Richards drew
a purple card, Ms. Sweetie, which case a sugary haze across the entire map. Agent Lang then
spent the next three turns attacking Ms. Sweetie, attempting to contain the entity before Dr.
Quinn and Dr. Bridge could summon another supreme divine being. Their efforts were disrupted
by Dr. Baker, who sniped Agent Lang from a nearby hillside, and then began attacking
the already damaged Ms. Sweetie. On the next turn, Dr. Quinn drew the card
”Upgrade”, which he used on an item that Dr. Bridge had recovered called “Puzzle
Box”. The result was a card called “Celestial Puzzle Box”, which Dr. Quinn used to summon
“A Clockwork God”, the third supreme divine being, which immediately ended the game. After
the usual fireworks and musical celebration, the voice of the announcer declared that Dr.
Quinn and Dr. Bridge had become MR. ESCHATOLOGY. At the conclusion of the game, Dr. Quinn and
Dr. Bridge were awarded their payout, a gold bar worth exactly $1,750. Audio Recording Transcript Excerpts [BEGIN LOG] Dr. Quinn: Alright, so… let’s see. I’m
going to use “Clockwork Fanaticism” on Django. Dr. St. Clair: What’s that do? Dr. Quinn: It, uh… imbues him with clockwork
powers. (Pauses) I think that’s it. (To Bridge) You noticing anything different down
there? Dr. Bridge: (Distantly) Yes, actually. I seem
to have had my insides replaced with gears and pulleys. Oh! (Pauses) So now I seem to
have something being created inside my stomach. Hang on. (Pauses) Yes, I’ve now deposited
it into my hands. Dr. Quinn: Cool, I get to draw a card. (Pauses
to read) So that’s called a “Puzzle Box”. It doesn’t look like it has any stats. Can
it do anything? Dr. Bridge: Doesn’t, uh… doesn’t seem
to do anything. Dr. Quinn: Huh. Alright. I guess we’ll just
discard that later. [END LOG] [BEGIN LOG] Dr. Quinn: (Laughs) Ok, so listen to this.
This is called “Error in the Database”, and if we find a computer- Dr. Bridge: Which I’m standing right next
to, yes. Dr. Quinn: -then I can summon a supreme divine- Agent Calloway: Oh my god this is bullshit. Agent Jenkins: What? What’s going on up
there? Dr. Quinn: -called Mary Nakayama. Bite my
ass, Calloway. Agent Jenkins: Hey Julian? Something going
on up there? Because things are starting to get a little spooky down here. Agent Calloway: Hang on, uh… I’ve got…
uh… Agent Jenkins: So are you going to— Agent Jenkins is suddenly annihilated when
a spectral entity appears where he was standing. Agent Calloway: Oh goddammit. [END LOG] [BEGIN LOG] Dr. St. Clair: Take the shot, Baker! The sound of a distant gunshot. Dr. St. Clair: Hell yeah! Dr. Richards: Anna? Anna? Ah, fuck it. What
is that thing, and when did you draw it? I didn’t see it when I divined you earlier. Dr. St. Clair: In the last turn! How clutch
is that? Dr. Baker: Mike? Hey, Mike? Did we win? Dr. St. Clair: Nah, not yet, but you get another
shot into that Mister and we will. Dr. Quinn: Is that so, Michael? Dr. St. Clair: Oh no you don’t. Don’t
you try any more of your eschatology bullshit, Nicholas. Dr. Quinn: Regrettably, all I have is eschatology
bullshit! Behold, I use “Upgrade” on this “Puzzle Box”, to create… (pauses) a
Celestial Puzzle Box! Django, open that bad boy up! Dr. Bridge: You got it. Come on out, biggun.
(The sound of grinding metal is heard in the background) Announcer’s Voice: That’s it! The game
is over! Congratulations to Django Bridge and Nicholas Quinn; you have become MR. ESCHATOLOGY! Dr. St. Clair: God fucking dammit Nick, I
almost had that one. SCP-3301 Testing Log Log ID: 3301|008 Participants: Dr. Avery Bone and Dr. Eila
Harris, Dr. Owen Mars and Dr. Cotter Davis, Dr. Francis LaFleur and Director Arnold Camp. Game Board: Echoes of the Mariana Winner: Dr. Francis LaFleur and Director Arnold
Camp Victory Condition: Mr. Survivor Difficulty Setting: Apollyon Runtime: 0h 1m 21s Payout: $50 Game Summary: In the shortest run of SCP-3301
thus far, Dr. Avery Bone and Dr. Owen Mars of the SCP-3301 research team ran the first
test thus far of the “Apollyon2” difficulty setting. The game map, Echoes of the Mariana, had all
three teams start with their players on the edge of a high cliff next to a raging ocean,
with a storm overhead. As the game began, Dr. Davis was suddenly stricken with blindness,
and stumbled backwards over the edge of the cliff. Dr. LaFleur’s first draw was a Yellow
Card called “Business Expenses” which granted he and Director Camp $50. Additionally,
while Director Camp had been stricken with a pox on the opening of the game, one of Dr.
LaFleur’s pre-game draws was a White Card called “Panacea” which was used to heal
Director Camp’s pox. After Dr. Bone’s draw, Dr. Harris began
to move towards a small concrete structure when she was accosted by three incorporeal,
humanoid entities, which were revealed to be a Supreme Divine entity called “The Three
Brothers”. With no proper equipment to protect herself and no cards available for Dr. Bone
to use in defense his piece, Dr. Harris was swiftly killed by the entity. Immediately
upon her death, the game ended and Dr. LaFleur and Director Camp were pronounced “MR. SURVIVOR”. Notable Cards Drawn: Card Color: Orange Card Title: The Three Brothers Subtitle: Love to Gamble Type: Anomaly, Sentient, Divine Description: Three cursed siblings who were
bound by Fate to ferry the souls of the departed towards the dark nothingness beyond life.
Picked up a penchant for card games somewhere along the way. Stats: 29 ATK / 34 DEF / 37 HP Audio Recording Transcript Excerpts [BEGIN LOG] Dr. Mars: Alrighty then, let’s kick this
bad boy off. I’ll draw first… and the game is afoot! Dr. Davis: Oh my god! Oh my god! I can’t
see! I’m blind, I can’t see! Dr. Mars: Wh— Cotter? Oh no, Cotter, hang
on, I can… I’ve got… uh… oh no. Dr. Davis: Owen? Owen, help me! I can’t,
I can’t— (screams as he falls off a cliff) Dr. Mars: Cotter? Cotter! Oh goddammit, Cotter. Silence throughout the group. Dr. LaFleur: So… good first turn. Dr. Mars: I… Jesus. Does it hurt? Like,
I haven’t played before, does it hurt them? Dr. Bone: Pretty tremendously at the time,
but they don’t seem to remember the pain afterwards, so… not in the long term, no.
Still though, it’s rough to hear. Dr. Mars: Yeah, I… Jesus. Dr. LaFleur: Either way, my turn. How you
doing down there, boss? Director Camp: (Incoherant screaming) My skin!
Oh god my skin! It’s a pox! Dr. LaFleur: Woof. Really rough first round.
Good thing is, I drew this… “Panacea”, so I’m going to play that… and we should
be good! How about now? Director Camp: Huh. Yeah, I feel much better.
That was pretty horrid, I’m not going to lie. Where to next? Dr. LaFleur: Well… my options seem to be
limited here. I’m thinking something like… nah, let’s save that. (Pauses) Alright,
let’s just do this. (Cash register sound is heard above Dr. LaFleur) Director Camp: Nice. Dr. LaFleur: You’re damn right. Dr. Bone: Alright, time to stop messing around.
Let’s get serious. You ready to make this thing happen, Eila? Dr. Harris: Hell yeah, Avery. Let’s do this. Dr. Bone: Excellent. We’re a little short
on items at the moment, so let’s just… go check out this building over here. Dr. Harris: On it. (Sounds of running) Whoa
there. There’s something in the road. What is it? Dr. Mars: Huh. Orange card. What is it? Dr. Bone: It’s… uh… called “The Three
Brothers”… it’s a Divine thing. Dr. Harris: What’s it do? Incorporeal Humanoid Entities: Nothing good. Dr. Harris: Wha- oh god I’m dying! Avery!
Help— Dr. Bone: What? What just happened? Dr. LaFleur: I think you just lost. Victory music sounds and fireworks are heard
above the players. Director Camp: Oh shit, did we win? Is it
over? Dr. Bone: Ok, so… Apollyon mode sucks. Dr. LaFleur: Speak for yourself. I’ve got
fifty bucks waiting for me. [END LOG] Log ID: 3301|012 Participants: Director Liam Deets and Sgt.
Hannah Washington of MTF Omega-12, Agent Andrea Adams and Spc. Iris Thompson of MTF Alpha-9,
Agent Sasha Merlo and Agent Clarissa Shaw of MTF Gamma-13, and Sgt. Irantu and Spc.
Nanku of MTF Tau-5. Game Board: Anantashesha’s Domain Winner: Sgt. Irantu and Spc. Nanku Victory Condition: Mr. Finder Difficulty Setting: Euclid Runtime: 0h 45m 12 seconds Payout: $602 Game Summary: The game took place in a heavily
stylized replica of the SCPF Eremita. On the first turn, Sgt. Washington used her reality
altering abilities to materialize a modified Colt AR-15, which she then fired at Spc. Nanku.
Sgt. Washington was promptly admonished for apparent rule breaking and terminated by what
appeared to be a giant flaming angel’s sword. Spc. Nanku, despite sustaining multiple gunshots,
was relatively unphased. The game then proceeded normally until turn
14, when Agent Shaw discovered the hidden golden anomaly but was temporarily paralyzed
by a cognitohazard that was protecting it. Spc. Thompson then proceeded to acquire the
anomaly. Before Spc. Thompson succeeded at containing
the anomaly, Agent Shaw recovered enough to use her red card “The Nerfing Gun” to transform
Spc. Thompson into an Orangutan. Spc. Nanku, who until that point had been occupied in
a fistfight with a sepia-toned humanoid that self identified as “Murphy Law,” then arrived
and was able to contain the anomaly, and thus winning the game. Notable Cards Drawn: Card Color: Red Card Title: The Nerfing Gun Subtitle: A low effort pun Type: Weapon, Ranged Description: A fancy Nerf gun that makes everything
worse. Excels at ethically questionable humanoid transfiguration. Expires after one use. Stats: Transfiguration Attack / – 10 ACC Audio Recording Transcript Excerpts [BEGIN LOG] Director Deets: Alright Hannah, just like
we planned. We’ll show them who the real anomalous task force is. Sgt. Washington: Yes sir. Alright nuts and
bolts, let’s see how you like hot iron! Sgt. Washington: What do you mean reality
bending is cheating, that wasn’t in the rules! You have got be fucking kidding m— Spc. Nanku: …Is this how all board games
are supposed to start? Sgt. Irantu: That was rude. Director Deets: Um, sorry. Why do they have
you two playing this anyway? Sgt. Irantu: I’ve been told it is a part of
our emotional development training. The captain thought it was a good idea since the first
time any of us felt emotion was during a game of Monopoly. Having extreme rage as a reference
point is very helpful in understanding others. Agent Shaw: The Nerfing Gun huh? I remember
this one. About time those idiots help me instead of being a pain. Agent Shaw: Aha, here it is. I wonder why
it would be on a nightstand of all things? Eh, who ca- Agent Merlo: YES, CLARISSA! Wooohooo! Fuck
you Adams, my agent found the anomaly first! Wait, Clarissa? Clarissa! GET UP! Agent Adams: Why am I here? I don’t even like
boardgames. Spc. Thompson: Yes, I got it! Oh wow this
is amazing. Andrea, did I ever tell you Jumanji was my favorite movie as a kid, this is like
a dream come- OOH AAH Agent Shaw: What’s the matter Thompson, you’re
just monkeying around? Oh god that was a bad pun, stupid gun must be rubbing off on me. Spc. Nanku: So, do I win? Victory music sounds are heard. Sound is distorted
due to surrounding water. Spc. Nanku: A-hem, I’d just like to say that
you don’t miss all the shots you don’t take. This an inspiring victory quote that I read.
What is inspiring exactly? Director Deets: Well… that was almost right. [END LOG] Log ID: 3301|017 Participants: Agent Dumas and Agent Tucker,
Doctor Perkins and Agent Steele, Researcher Patel and Special-Detainee Justice Locke,
Researcher Dumas and D-101 (awarded game time for good behavior). Game Board: 20,000 Leagues under the Red Sea Winner: Agent Dumas, Agent Tucker Victory Condition: MR. GENOCIDE Difficulty Setting: Maksur Runtime: 4h 28m 14s Payout: $100,000,000 Game Summary: Each player received a gunshot
wound upon the game’s opening: Agent Tucker was shot in the toe, Agent Steele was shot
in the elbow, S.D. Locke was shot in the face yet survived, D-101 reported feeling something
rush through his hair just above his scalp. The players began in a sparsely-wooded locale
illuminated by a bright, red sun; and were situated on different banks of a large, red
lake. Each team was able to equip themselves with a variety of weapons due to R. Dumas
playing a White card titled “Global Occult Coincidence”, which replaced each player’s
hand with 10 Red cards. Players spent the next several rounds destroying
anomalies, having brokered a “truce” spearheaded by Researcher Patel – who coerced his opponents
into aiming for the MR. COALITION win-condition. By the third hour, Dr. Perkins and Agent Steele
had the lead, at 21 anomalies destroyed. Agent Dumas then drew a companion card, “The Night
Hauler”, which allowed Agent Tucker to move about the game area unrestricted by die-rolls. At the behest of Agent Dumas, who had earlier
uncovered a clue as to the whereabouts of the game’s hidden card; Agent Tucker quickly
moved across the playing field, exploring every space contained within the game board.
The team conspired to find the object, and thereby achieve the MR. FINDER win-condition.
Said item (“Murphy’s Trademarked Trilby”) was found in the north-eastern portion of
the map, guarded by a supreme divine being (“Celestial Cicada”). Agent Tucker was able
to abscond with the hidden item due to his speed-boost, and avoid the entity altogether.
Their turn ended as Agent Tucker took a shortcut over the red lake, attempting to reach their
containment facility. The companion vehicle and the hidden item fell into the lake’s center. Dumas and Tucker’s turn revealed over three
dozen Orange cards, four of which were divine-class or higher. The players regrouped near the
Southern wall of the map, joined by Agent Tucker on his team’s next turn, and fended
off attacks with their remaining cards. Their efforts were assisted by R. Patel’s companion
card “The Rookie”, which destroyed several anomalies – placing his team in the lead.
The companion card itself was destroyed once the entity “Summer’s Exile” reached the party’s
location. At four hours, 27 minutes into play all players
had depleted most of their HP defending themselves. R. Patel’s team still held the lead, and the
only entity remaining was “A Lady Who Does Not Approve of Your Life Choices, Yet Cannot
Look Away”, which did not attack; it appeared to be content staring at players from afar,
out-of-reach of their weapons. On Dumas/Tucker’s turn, Dumas rolled a twelve, and directed
Tucker to abandon his opponents. At the end of his turn, Dumas activated a trap card “Suspiciously
Scurrying Sand”, killing all other players and awarding his team the MR. GENOCIDE win-condition. Notable Cards Drawn: Card Color: Green Card Title: Suspiciously Scurrying Sand Subtitle: Did… did that dune just move? Type: Trap Description: They have a nasty habit of working
their way into one’s swim-trunks, play some Beach Boys when deploying this card for maximum
yucks! Card Color: Blue Card Title: The Night Hauler Subtitle: Keeps on truckin’. Type: Companion Description: Hitch a ride with Momentum Incarnate!
You’re free to move about the board without rolling dice (turns are limited to two minutes
in duration, don’t hog the fun) while accompanied by this companion! Mind those Orange cards,
Leroy! Stats: 12 ATK / 4 DEF / 6 HP Audio Recording Transcript Excerpts S.D. Locke: [Mumbles incoherently] …them? A. Tucker: For the last time, we can’t understand
a damn thing you say! R. Patel: It is not his fault he was shot
in the face. A. Dumas: Yea, whose idea was it to play on
Maksur anyways? R. Dumas: I thought it’d make for an interesting
challenge, you can only play on “Safe” so many times before it starts to get old. D-101: So, how many of these things are left,
anyways? Dr. Perkins: Not sure. We killed all the gods
and monsters, Locke took out the infovore… D-101: Shit! Right there! D’ya see her? A. Tucker: Ah! A. Dumas: Oh, right. Ugh, that one gives me
the willies like you wouldn’t believe. Dr. Perkins: The hell is it doing all the
way over there anyways? R. Patel: It doesn’t matter. Someone needs
to get over there and finish it, so we can end the session. D-101: You mean so you can win. A. Dumas: Well, it’s our turn now. Lessee…
twelve! Nice! A. Tucker: Sweet, let’s take her out – you
got any good gear for me boss? A. Dumas: Er…yea. Just, just move to the
edge of our turn radius. D-101: Finally. R. Dumas: Just hurry up and end it hun, I
can’t feel my ass anymore. A. Dumas: [Dramatically] I now activate…
my trap card! Bwahahaha! [S.D. Locke, D-101, and Agent Steele can be
heard screaming. Victory music and fireworks can be heard, and the announcer congratulates
“MR. GENOCIDE”]. A. Dumas: That’s what you get when you cross
the ‘mas! R. Dumas: What? You — I can’t— [sigh]
You’re a goddamn insufferable prick, you know that? A. Dumas: An insufferable prick who just won
us a hundred-million dollars! [At this point, the game produced currency
equal to the Agents’ winnings. This was the first and only recorded instance of the payout
being produced in false game notes or “play money”.] R. Dumas: We’re getting a divorce. [END LOG] Log ID: 3301|021 Participants: Sgt. (S.) Kadowski and Cpl.
Winston, Agent Chang and Agent Arch of MTF Gamma-4, Sgt. Wyte and Agent (D.) Kadowski,
Agent Samson and Agent Karlyle of DTF Sigma-6, Agent Peterson and Agent Quinzeen of MTF Eta-10,
Researcher Pentach and D-93017. Game Board: Imbrium Crater Winner: None. (See game summary.) Victory Condition: None. Difficulty Setting: Apollyon. Runtime: 0h 10m 00 seconds Payout: None. Game Summary: The game was set within the
Mare Imbrium crater, with an unmanned facility located in the approximate centre of the map.
Each player’s “containment facility” featured an underground portion with a high-speed rail
tunnel connecting to the central facility; they were otherwise wholly independent from
each-other. At the start of the game, a flare of light
occurred on the board and a ten-minute countdown appeared above the primary players; secondary
players reported that the sun was undergoing a supernova event. All secondary players reported
impediment or ailment: Agent Arch and Agent Quinzeen reported blindness; Cpl. Winston
and Agent (D.) Kadowski reported flu symptoms and severe fever; Agent Karlyle reported nausea,
internal pain and difficulty moving; D-93017 reported all symptoms. Researcher Pentach equipped D-93017 with the
Blue Card “████ ███”, manifesting a human male with no apparent in-game function;
the entity was amnesic and was mostly unaware of the game in progress. Researcher Pentach
directs D-93017 towards the underground rail tunnel; D-93017, impeded by blindness and
severe fever, repeatedly ignored directions and travelled in incorrect directions. At
the end of the turn, Researcher Pentach drew the Black Card “Eternal Interest”, forcing
him to discard one card every turn or D-93017 would be automatically killed. (Time remaining:
9m 27s.) Sgt. (S.) Kadowski used the Yellow Card “Never
Overestimate The Use of SCPs”, to grant his team $500. Cpl. Winston was then instructed
to find a spacesuit before Sgt. (S.) Kadowski drew to end his turn. (Time remaining: 9m
20s.) Agent Samson equipped Agent Karlyle with the
Red Card “Rayman’s Laygun”, then directed them to the medical wing of their facility.
Agent Samson drew the Black Card “Chaos Hole” at the end of their turn, permanently disabling
their high-speed rail. (Time remaining: 9m 11s.) Agent Peterson equipped Agent Quinzeen with
the Red Card “Anti-matterman’s Perfecto-suit”, enabling them to traverse the lunar surface.
Agent Quinzeen’s training with cognitohazards assisted them in navigating despite blindness,
and they reach the surface exit. Agent Peterson draws the Black Card “Neutralised”, expending
“Anti-matterman’s Perfecto-suit”. Agent Chang instructed Agent Arch to find
supplies; impeded by blindness, they encountered the Supreme Divine Orange Card “Mysterious
Mega-Malicious Meta-Meme”, which immediately killed them. (Time remaining: 9m 05s.) Sgt. Wyte equipped Agent (D.) Kadowski with
the Red Card “Night Vision Goggles”. Agent (D.) Kadowski discovered and equipped themselves
with the Red Card “Spacesuit”, enabling them to traverse the lunar surface. Sgt. Wyte then
drew the Purple Card “Mr. Redd O. P. Discontinued C. P.”, which attacked and killed Agent (D.)
Kadowski. (Time remaining: 8m 54s.) Researcher Pentach equipped D-93017 with the
Red Card “Map Map”, enabling them to see (but not identify) all active cards on the map.
An Orange Card — assumed to be the second Supreme Divine entity spawned on the fourth
turn — was seen navigating towards D-93017. Researcher Pentach directed D-93017 to the
high-speed rail, but D-93017 again failed to follow instructions. At this point, Researcher Pentach attempted
to cheat by introducing a foreign card — “Pot of Greed”, from the Yu-Gi-Oh card game — to
the game. SCP-3301 accepted the card, dispensing two cards; both cards were copies of the Black
Card “Pot of Weed”, forcing Researcher Pentach to immediately draw two more cards for each.
All four drawn cards were additional copies of “Pot of Weed”; all cards that Researcher
Pentach drew using “Pot of Weed” were, invariably, additional copies of “Pot of Weed”. Researcher Pentach’s behaviour rapidly degraded
in a manner indicative of a psychoactive drug overdose; upon reaching 256 copies of “Pot
of Weed”, Researcher Pentach became incapable of any further action, apparently lapsing
into a vegetative state.3 Other players were unable to execute any tasks, as Researcher
Pentach had been unable to end their turn. Once the timer reached zero, the entire map
— and all items and players on it — was simultaneously vaporised, ending the game
with no victor and no payout. Notable Cards Drawn: Card Color: Blue Card Title: blank Subtitle: blank Type: Companion Description: blank Stats: blank ATK / blank DEF / blank HP Card Color: Black Card Title: Pot of Weed Description: THERE IS A PLACE IN HELL FOR
CHEATERS AND A HOLE JUST YOUR SIZE. Draw two cards, but you still take damage. Effect: The player draws two cards, and begins
experiencing symptoms of psychoactive drug exposure; each successive use of “Pot of Weed”
increases the intensity of these symptoms. Card Color: Purple Card Title: Mr. Redd O. P. Discontinued C.
P. Subtitle: The King of Crimson Type: Wondertainment Description: The unrecallable and sinister
Mr. Redd! Able to attack from a distance with a -1 ATK debuff per space between him and
his target! Ignores DEF when attacking! Able to equip Red Cards from defeated players!
Best before: encountered! Stats: 40 ATK / 20 DEF / 60 HP Audio Recording Transcript Excerpts [BEGIN LOG] Agent Chang: I’m telling you, it’s between
me and Cap’. You lot are too soft. Researcher Pentach: I’m just as soft as you
are. None of us have played this before. Sgt. Kadowski: The map is home turf for us
– low grav, vacuum. You landlubbers aren’t trained for it. Sgt. Wyte: “Land lobbers!” Just because your
team’s named after a pirate, doesn’t mean – Cpl. Winston: (Distant) Could we begin, please? Researcher Pentach: Alright alright, I’ll
draw my – Agent Samson: Sweet easter, what the hell
was that? You alright down there Doug? Agent Karlyle: (Distant) Fuck me. I feel like
I got hit by a train, and the fucking sun exploded. D-93017: (Distant) The hell have you done
to me! I can’t see shit! Agent Samson: The fucking — Oh shit, timer.
Hurry up Pentach, we’ve only got ten minutes. Researcher Pentach: Don’t call me Pentach.
You call me Kyle, or Researcher Pentach, or you don’t – Agent Peterson: Just shut up and do something. Researcher Pentach: I’ll use, uh… the hell
does this thing do? The card is just blacked out. D-93017: (Distant) Who — Who’s there? Who
are you? Summoned Entity: … I don’t know. Who are
you? Researcher Pentach: There’s something coming
your way. Go west four — no, west you fucking — turn the fuck around! The other fucking
way! Agent Chang: (Laughter) Researcher Pentach: Shut up, this isn’t fucking
fair and you know it. Agent Peterson: It is plenty fair. You’ve
just been particularly unlucky. Researcher Pentach: Fuck this. Sgt. Wyte: Hey, you can’t do that! Researcher Pentach: Oh really? Then why did
it just work? Sgt. Kaderowski: Pentach. That’s cheating. Researcher Pentach: Kiss my ass. Lets see
what… Fuck, both black… wait… why are these Black Cards? Agent Chang: What are they? Researcher Pentach: Same thing, twice; I draw
two cards for each. But why is it… Agent Samson: Wondertainment don’t make many
mistakes. They’re black for a reason. Researcher Pentach: Hoo, pulled… four more
of ’em. Sweet. Researcher Pentach: Hey… hey it’s… it’s
more of them… Sgt. Kadowski: Are you ok, Kyle? Researcher Pentach: (Slurred) Y-yeah, I’m…
I’m… whoo, more pots… p-ot… Sgt. Wyte: Pentach, stop. This isn’t — no,
stop – Researcher Pentach: (Heavily slurred) Fuggoff…
my turn… p-o-t, he… he he he he… weed. We-ee-ee-ed. Agent Samson: Pentach, stop, this isn’t… Researcher Pentach: (Incoherent mumbling,
gurgling) Cpl. Winston: (Distant) What’s going on up
there? Is it our turn yet? Sgt. Kadowski: Pentach has had an… event,
and looks like he won’t be continuing. I’ll — ???: Please wait for the previous player to
end their turn. Sgt. Kadowski: … Damn it. Agent Chang: You’re fucking joking. He can’t,
he’s fucking… Agent Kadowski: (Distant) The explosion is…
getting very close now. Are you sure there is nothing that can be done? ???: Please wait for the previous player to
end their turn. Agent Quinzeen: (Distant) It’s getting really
warm in here, you know. Sgt. Wyte: And three, two, one… Agent Chang: And we all fucking loose, god
fucking damn it Kyle. Perfect fucking map to sort out who’se best, time limit for pressure,
and you had to fucking ruin it. Researcher Pentach: (Slurred) Hey, it’s…
not my, not my fault… Agent Peterson: Shut up. You always fucking
ruin everything, Pentach. Get the fuck out. Additional Note/s: Researcher Pentach appears to have been banned
from participating in future games; despite all attempts for Researcher Pentach to function
as a primary or secondary player, SCP-3301 will uniformly treat them as a spectator of
the initiating game. It is currently unknown when this ban will expire, if at all. Log ID: 3301|028 Participants: Dr. King and D-93017, Researcher
John and D-85493 Game Board: Appleseeds Winner: Dr. King and D-93017 Victory Condition: Mr. Appleseeds Difficulty Setting: Safe5 Runtime: 75h 43m 29 seconds Payout: 400,000 appleseeds Game Summary: Map was a flat, featureless plane comprised
entirely of appleseeds; only the top ten centimetres of appleseeds were loose, with the remainder
compacted into a solid surface. All cards in both player’s hands are variously
coloured copies of “Appleseed”. Dr. King uses a Green Card “Appleseed.” A
single appleseed manifests in the air next to D-93017. D-93017 begins searching the map;
Dr. King draws a Black Card “Appleseed”, manifesting another single appleseed next to D-93017. Researcher John equips D-85493 with a Blue
Card “Appleseed”; a single appleseed manifests in D-85493’s hand. Researcher John draws a
Red Card “Appleseed”. No remarkable events occurred for the following
seventy-five consecutive hours, as all cards drawn and encountered on the map were universally
colour variants of “Appleseed”; although Researcher John and Dr. King could identify map tiles
containing Orange or Purple “Appleseed” cards, D-93017 and D-85493 were unable to distinguish
their in-game appearance from other loose apple seeds. The game abruptly ended when Dr. King equipped
D-93017 with a Red Card “Appleseed”, thereby filling all available slots with various copies
of “Appleseed” and achieving the previously unknown “Mr. Appleseed” victory condition.
The room SCP-3301 was used in was progressively filled with an estimated 400,000 apple seeds
following the conclusion of the game. Notable Cards Drawn: Card Color: Varied. Card Title: Appleseed Subtitle: Seed of Apple Type: Seed Description: An appleseed. Nothing personal,
Mr. King — it’s just the rules. Stats:7 00 ATK / 00 DEF / 00 HP Audio Recording Transcript Excerpts [BEGIN LOG] Researcher John: It’ll be fine. Just play
a round with us, ok? Dr. King: We both fucking know what’s going
to happen. Researcher John: Come on, it’s a card game.
There’s no way… Researcher John: Eighty-five, what… what
are you standing on? D-85493: It’s apple seeds. Just apple seeds
for miles. Dr. King: (Incoherent yelling) Researcher John: Calm down, just draw your
cards and we’ll – oh boy. Dr. King: It’s apple seeds, isn’t it? All
the cards are apple seeds, aren’t they? Researcher John: I’m so sorry. Dr. King: I’ve drawn my hand. Oh boy, I wonder
what I’ll pick? I wonder what card I’ll use first? Dr. King: (Shouting) Oh I know, I’ll fucking
use an apple seed! That will fucking work! Thats perfect! Perfect thing to use in a field
filled to the fucking brim with fucking APPLE SEEDS! Dr. King: (Muffled sobbing) Log ID: 3301|033 Participants: Agent Helen Zhao and Agent Zoe
Smith of MTF Eta-11, AIC-Glacon and Agent Thomas Pankin of MTF Mu-4, Dr. Logan Igotta
and Dr. Lakshmi Agarwal, Researcher Joseph Bell and Medical Officer James Candle of MTF
Eta-13 Game Board: Beneath Site-46 Winner: Draw Victory Condition: Mr. Forgetful Difficulty Setting: Keter Runtime: 1hr 48min 12s Payout: N/A Game Summary: This iteration was notable for
including several anomalies not known to the Foundation. It is unclear whether these were
generated for the game, or whether equivalent real-world anomalies are currently undiscovered
or may arise in future. Each team started the game within an underground
Foundation facility. Within moments, a containment breach alarm sounded, and all teams were chased
by a large humanoid and an aggressive canid entity. Agent Candle retreated behind a bulkhead,
closing it behind him and locking out the other players, who continued to flee. At the suggestion of AIC-Glacon, Agent Pankin
logged into a computer terminal, activating an effect card (“Swipe Left – No, your other-other-Left”)
which attached to Dr. Agarwal. The card caused all monsters in the game to become companions
of Dr. Agarwal. It also caused an unexpected error to AIC-Glacon, which shut down. Dr.
Agarwal advanced with her new humanoid and canid companions, and Agents Smith and Pankin
ran towards the Site exit. As Agent Smith emerged from the Site, her
entry into the sunlight triggered a Green trap card (“Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows”).
Agent Smith’s Hit Points were reduced to zero, but she remained active in the game, her body
melting into a glutinous mass. Agent Pankin, trapped by the approaching companions of Dr.
Agarwal, attempted to use a Red Card (“Green Goo Gun”) on the remains of Agent Smith, but
the weapon’s only effect was to lubricate the creature, delaying its efforts to breach
the Site entrance. Agent Pankin was eventually attacked and consumed – his Hit Points were
also reduced to zero, and his body fused into the liquid mass. The amorphous biomass spoke to Dr. Agarwal,
stating that it was her companion and encouraging her to join it. Her companions attacked the
creature, but were absorbed by it. Dr. Igotta used a final companion card: “Sister Semaphore”,
a cosmic being which flew upwards into the atmosphere and disappeared. And then the sun
went out. The gelatinous biomass collapsed, losing all
function. However the previously absorbed bodies of Agents Smith and Pankin remained
at zero Hit Points, and their coating of green goo suddenly [DATA EXPUNGED]. As the remaining players panicked, and mere
seconds from [DATA EXPUNGED], Agent Candle arrived, and combined the Green Goo Gun card
with his one remaining red card (“Don’t forget your eel juice”), firing the resulting weapon
upwards at the primary players. All players awoke simultaneously with no memory
of the events of the game, or of the reason for their presence in the game board. No prize
money was awarded. Participants have professed no recollection
of game events, which have been reconstructed entirely from recordings. For security and
psychological reasons, events of this iteration remain classified to participants. Notable Cards Drawn: Card Color: Orange Card Title: Avery Subtitle: Someone is going to be boned Type: Anomaly | Sentient | Animal Description: A slavering white wendigo with
the power to control bone growth. What’s not to love? Stats: 9 ATK / 5 DEF / 6 HP Audio Recording Transcript Excerpts [BEGIN LOG] Agent Zhao: Watch your six, Zoe! Some kind
of dog on the ceiling!Agent Pankin: This way, come on! AIC-Glacon: I would advise against that direction. Unknown:Food, glorious food! Agent Smith: What the hell? Hey Candle, wait
for us, don’t you dare – M.O. Candle: I’m sorry! Dr. Agarwal: Cowardly bastard. Let’s get out
of here. AIC-Glacon: What is your desired outcome from
this experience? Agent Pankin: Well I sure as hell don’t want
to lose, Glacon! AIC-Glacon: My calculations indicate that
the use of this card at this time will ensure that you do not lose. Agent Pankin: Okay, logging in – it should
effect the nearest player. Sorry, Lakshmi! Dr. Agarwal: I don’t feel anything. Agent Pankin: What gives, Glacon? AIC-Glacon: I cannot provide an answer to
that query, Agent. Unfortunately the high volume of data released in the program you
have activated will temporarily overwhelm my processing capacity. I should, perhaps,
have mentioned this eventuality before advising, -ing, -ing, -ing… Researcher Bell: I think he’s crashed, Thomas. Agent Pankin: Dammit, now what do I do? Those
things are right outside! Unknown:Lakshmi, Lakshmi, give
me your answer, do… Unknown: Ar ruv roo. Dr. Agarwal: I’m sorry what now? Agent Zhao: Keep going, Zoe – you’re almost
out. Agent Smith: Okay, I’m – aaaaaagggghh! Agent Zhao: Zoe! Dr. Igotta: Jesus. Researcher Bell: Oh god, that’s – that’s horrible.
James, you have to do something. James? Dr. Agarwal: Shit – it’s absorbed all of my
companions. Unknown: I’m your companion, Lakshmi. All
of us are. Join us. Dr. Igotta: Lakshmi, run. Unknown: All of you can join us – we will
be beautiful together. Researcher Bell: Is it – is it looking at
us? Can we just stop now, please? Dr. Igotta: Yeah, this ceased to be fun a
long while back. Agent Zhao:I can still
hear her. Dr. Agarwal:The green is [DATA
EXPUNGED]! It’s [DATA EXPUNGED]! Logan, I don’t want to die! Dr. Igotta: I’m sorry, Lakshmi. It – it will
be okay. I promise. Dr. Agarwal: It’s so dark. Researcher Bell: I can barely see anything
down there. Agent Zhao: So dark. Dr. Agarwal: Please, I don’t want to die. M.O. Candle: You won’t – at least not alone. Researcher Bell: James! Dr. Igotta: Finally! M.O. Candle: Okay, here goes nothing… [DATA EXPUNGED] Agent Smith: Ugh – what – where am I? I don’t
feel well. M.O. Candle: Don’t get up – let me check.
Can you tell me your name?Unknown: Uh, congratulations, I guess? Did
anyone win? Why are we here? Is it a sphere, perhaps? Who is Doctor Wondertainment? Dr. Igotta: Wondertainment – huh, that explains
a lot. But also nothing. Agent Pankin: Um, what just happened? AIC-Glacon: Despite having been inactivated
and thus unable to observe subsequent proceedings, I surmise that my previous calculation was
correct, and that your actions ensured that you did not lose the game. Dr. Agarwal: We were playing a game? Log ID: 3301|042 Participants: Dr. Westrin and Junior Researcher
Kim, D-1886 and Dr. Messer Game Board: Dr. Jones’ Locker Winner: Dr. Westrin and Junior Researcher
Kim Victory Condition: MR. ESCHATOLOGY Difficulty Setting: Maksur Runtime: 25h 17m 28s Payout: $216,145 Game Summary: Each player received a gunshot
wound upon entering. However, instead of a random location, each player was shot in their
left eye. Eyepatches manifested near their vicinity, which they eventually put on. Each team started on a beach on an island
in the middle of a large body of water. No other land is seen by the players. Dr Westrin
draws the card “Deep Below The Reef”, which allows him access to a secret area of the
game board. A loud foghorn is heard in the distance, and a large sunken cargo ship appears
at the beach. Dr. Messer immediately plays the card “Starry
Night”, which reduces visibility of everyone in the area. This allows Dr. Messer to draw
and play a card, which is revealed to be “Lost Love at Sea”. Another foghorn, this time slightly
louder, is heard in the distance, and two boats appear that try and attempt to hinder
Dr. Westrin’s advancement to the cargo ship. While this plays out, D-1886 plays green card
“The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald”, which summons an oil tanker off the coast of the
island. Another foghorn is heard, even louder than the last, in the distance once more.
The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald prepares to destroy the cargo ship. JR Kim plays the
card “Yin-Yang”, which allows the user to play two divine beings in one turn. With this, she summons the supreme divine
card “The Great Leviathan”. Due to its immense size, it causes the nearby terrain to change;
mountains, crevices, and large earthquakes appear on the island and volcanic activity
begins to rise. JR Kim also plays a supreme divine card called “The Eel”. The Eel and
The Great Leviathan charge at D-1886 and the oil tanker, instantly annihilating them both. Dr. Westrin successfully makes it to the cargo
ship, and finds a small lockbox inside. Opening the lockbox, Dr. Westrin discovers the supreme
divine card “The S-C-P-S Midnight Jacket”, and immediately plays it. One last foghorn
is heard in the distance, and a supremely large wormhole is seen in the distant at an
unknown distance. A large metal spacecraft is seen exiting the wormhole. It is currently
theorized that the spacecraft was approximately the size of Manhattan. An unidentified object around the size of
a human is seen being detached from the spacecraft, which appears to be an escape pod. Once it
lands on the island, an entity exits it. The entity appears as an extremely large orangutan
in stereotypical sailor’s clothes, smoking a pipe, and holding a finished Rubik’s Cube
in their hand. A necklace is seen around their neck. The entity speaks through American Sign Language,
and speaks with the players for a short time. After 15 minutes, the entity reenters the
escape pod. It begins to fly back into the spacecraft. Eventually, several large objects
that resemble anchors are shot out of the spacecraft and begin to impale The Eel and
The Great Leviathan, and begin to drag them up into the craft. Immediately afterwards,
the game ends and Dr. Westrin and Junior Researcher Kim are rewarded the “Mr. ESCHATOLOGY” win-condition. Notable Cards Drawn: Card Color: Red Card Title: The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald Subtitle: Do not come near, lest your boat
be your own tomb. Type: Structure Description: A giant oil tanker, which instantly
destroys all ships that come near it. Comes equipped with other weaponry for other types
of enemies, such as harpoons, cannons, torpedoes, etc. Stats: 15 ATK / 85 DEF / 30 HP Card Color: Orange Card Title: The S.C.P.S Midnight Jacket Subtitle: The Terror of the Seas Type: Supreme Divine Description: Dead Foundations Write No Tales Stats: ?? ATK / ?? DEF / ?? HP Audio Recording Transcript Excerpts [BEGIN LOG] Dr. Westrin: Jesus Christ, I’ve gone blind! D-1886: Ah, fuck! W-why the fuck did they
have to shoot my eye. Junior Researcher Kim: It shot my eye too.
The hell.. Dr. Westrin: Look, here are some eyepatches. Dr. Messer: Yeah, this was definitely done
on purpose, especially considering we’re on an island in the middle of the ocean. Yar
har, I guess. Dr. Westrin: Damn, look at the size of that
ship. I’m going over. JR Kim: Er, did you just hear that lou- Dr. Messer: (In the distance) Oh no you ain’t.
Take this! JR Kim: Fucking shit, it’s pitch black. Dr. Westrin: I can still see the ship. Cover
my back, I’m going over. (Two small boats appear on the shore. They
begin to charge at Dr. Westrin.) JR Kim: I swear I can hear something over
in the dist- (One of the boats successfully rams Dr. Westrin,
he is flung over near the cargo ship. The boats appear to face towards Kim.) JR Kim: Shit. Dr. Messer: 1886, do you have anything to
destroy the cargo ship. I’ve distracted them for now. D-1886: Yeah, hold on a sec. (Pause) Here
we go. (D-1886 plays the card.) Dr. Messer: Did you hear that? It sounds like
a foghorn. D-1886: Did ya say something, I was staring
at the giant ass ship that just appeared in front of us. JR Kim: (Draws a card.) Oooh-ho-hoo, hope
you guys are ready to get demolished. (The Great Leviathan and The Eel appear behind
her) JR Kim: Let’s see you kill these guys. (Dr. Messer is seen quickly running away from
The Wreck and D-1886) D-1886: Shit. Dr. Westrin: I got it, I got the card. It’s
called “The S.C.P.S Midnight Jacket, and the description says “Dead Foundations Tell No
Tales”. JR Kim: Play it then, quickly, before Messer
can attack back. (Dr. Westrin plays the card. The foghorn is
head, and the wormhole is spotted in the distance.) Dr. Messer: Er….. what did you do. Dr. Westrin: I have no idea. (The escape pod from the spacecraft is seen
ejecting, and lands right next to Westrin, Kim and Messer.) Entity: (In sign language:) Hello. You are
from the Foundation, correct? JR Kim: You could say that, yes. Who are you? Entity: (In sign language:) Names Bright.
Was setting sail in case we ever found our target. Jr Kim: Target? Entity: (In sign language:) Yes madam. We
call them the Woodpeckers. They’ve been tearing up the multiverse, and plundering everything
in site. They’ve already plundered, what, 5 or 6 billion universes so far? We have been
sent to destroy them. JR Kim: Why do you need such a humongous spacecraft? Entity: First off, it’s not a spacecraft,
it’s a dimensional craft. Second off, the Woodpeckers ship is also extremely huge. (The
entity takes a puff from their pipe.) Say, have you seen the Woodpeckers around here
at all lately. JR Kim: No sir. Entity: Good. You got off lucky. (The entity returns to their pod, and begins
to fly back up to the spacecraft. The Eel and The Great Leviathan are seen being pulled
by the ship.) Dr. Messer: Did that monkey just….. take
the Eel and the Leviathan. Dr. Westrin: Looks like it.

  • Imagine a TV advert for this game…

    A lone D-class sprints through a dense jungle, crashing through the foliage. The noise of a truck horn is heard, and in a burst of smoke, a huge black 18-wheeler roars past, narrowly missing the D-class. Moving forward, he jumps over a stream, only for a ghostly submarine to surface from it, and a figure dressed in an old diving suit emerges from the top hatch.

    Now entering a clearing in the jungle, the D-class stops and stares in horror at the thin, almost skeletal figure sitting in the grass, curled up and and apparently trying to hide its face. Backing away, the D-class suddenly hears a soft, sinister voice, saying "The Doctor will see you now…" and turns to fine a figure in a beaked mask staring at him intensely. The D-class panics and starts running again.

    At last, his goal is in sight – a large Foundation facility. But suddenly, a large reptile, resembling an alligator, appears in front of him, and mutters "Ah, good, I haven't killed anything in a while…" Thinking quickly, the D-class pulls a card from his pocket and throws it on the ground. Where the card lands, a small mass of orange goo appears, and throws itself at the lizard, making adorable gurgling sounds as it does so.

    The lizard cries "No, no, NO! NOT AGAIN!" and tries to dodge the flying goo, but it lands on his back and wraps itself around his neck. The D-class sprints past the lizard, now laughing uncontrollably, and onwards, into the facility. The camera angle pans upwards to reveal huge letters in the sky:

    "The Foundation: An SCP Board Game"

  • Dr. Wonder…..what have you done NOW? My Unnamed Gods man, does anything you create NOT make people die?Or insane? First its a vibrator that vaporises, then its a effed' up game touted to be fun…some fun…

  • I actually would buy that boardgame and play with friends just tell the doctor to put on the box "not a real story"

  • i lost my shit at, Fuck this one guy specifically, hahahah , i might have to do some of my own research and make a game here

  • Other youtubers sound like the scientists nerds. East side sounds like the head commander of a mtf unit

  • [Addendum to Log 3301|28]
    "HA HA Oh my god, I dying over here! (Deep inhale) oh…ok. My apologies to Dr. King but that has got to be the funniest thing I've heard in a long time. I sitting here trying my best not to roll on the floor laughing and keep working but that's impossible. Credit to [The Keeper] Dr. East for not laughing while cataloging these records. Please someone send me the audio, i need that for my ringtone!" – O5- 01.

  • -be me
    -see scp 3301
    -unlock it.
    -press button.jpg

  • Doctor King is simultaneously one of the funniest and most tragic arcs in the whole SCP multiverse.
    Edit: Ayyyy, lesbian werewolf lass is here!
    Edit: Ffs, ¦Strength¦ is an SCP. How original.
    Edit: Nvm, it was just the guy we all expect to be flying around making pop culture references.

  • Why are so many damn SCPs in Site 19? Isnt that also the site the video game takes place in?

    Also. I'd totally play this game. Anomalies and all.

  • Make this a fucking video game please console pc gamers doesent matter we all want to be mister foundation and ill be honest i was a legit scp game so bad never can get a good fix after alien isolation

  • Come sea slug of death and moose let us purge the world of anomalies and evil doers or at least 682 survivor man away!

  • why are almost all the players named after memes or comedy movie characters…Peter LaFleur and ken bone

  • it sounds like this game brought out the competitive side of the otherwise sober research staff. XD bet Dr. Bright kicks ass at this game.

  • There is a real Card game which is…. much more Creepy…. If you are good with History, Politics, Corruption, Disasters, Technology and coming Technologies. Than Google "Illuminate Card game"… It's much worse than u can imagine…. and keep in Mind that MOST of the really important Cards game out 1982-1995… You will know which ones I'm speaking of when you see it. Have Fun…..

  • This is horrible, not the idea itself, but the execution. The game description drones on for 29 minutes. It was cute, the whole idea was maybe 10 minutes cute, but to go on about the rules for 29 minutes is tedious. There is a reason why editors exist, and this SCP more than any other showcases that reason. Don't get me wrong I'm not talking about the narration, but the actual SCP. It's a horrible meandering mess as it is written. Make it 1/10 it's current size and it's a cute little entry.

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